How much can parents expect their children to do?

I was reading a newspaper article on the great wave of loneliness experienced by parents of adult children in this generation. It says that parents are being left alone to fend for themselves while children move away and lead their own lives. It also says that those children are selfish and are only looking out for themselves and have forgotten all their parents have done for them. They have taken all their resources and have now abandoned them. I beg to differ in one fundamental way! we have to change our attitude as a society. Young people in our country are already burdened with pressures that simply did not exist earlier. our parents did lead simpler lives, were in joint families, and had a lot of cheap help available. Our parents had one or a maximum of two children, so the burden of taking care of the older generation is spread amongst a smaller group. Added to that, we are unable to get help, even when we are ready to pay for it and if our parents' attitude is that we cannot move then how is the child able to work their jobs and care for their parents.  This generation is struggling with parochial attitudes, the need for the women to work outside the home and work within,, male partners who believe that they need not lift a finger, and mothers of men who expect their daughters-in-law to work outside, and give them luxuries, and allow the parents in law to treat them like slaves. 

There are two or three factors at work here. One, parents cannot treat their children as their slaves or property anymore, two, the children did not ask for what you gave them willingly. You did it for bragging rights so stop expecting them to treat you like God, three, learn to be independent, and be proud of it. We need to have financial planning in advance, have an end-of-life plan, and have a sunny attitude to life. Of course, a whole lot of this is dependent on your financial and educational status. However, I have seen so many well-educated women and men who want to cling to the outdated mode of "my children have to care for me even as the parent has just crossed 50".  For example, take my mother-in-law, her plan in life to get all the attention was to flap around helplessly although she is a university graduate. Only because she wanted to feel important and order people around. Now because she was so awful and her behavior deteriorated she does not have the support she would have had if she had behaved well. Unfortunately, her way is the norm. I was told by another member of my husband's family, that she does not want to take an initiative because then her husband would not do anything. 

The point I am trying to make here is that we have to change attitudes. Children should not be forced to give up their dreams because you can't get your act together. My mother-in-law had huge support. In contrast, I need to do everything myself including catering for a 50 people dinner party at least once a month in which I have to do everything. I don't have the luxury of a cook and a driver so have no energy or patience to hear the whining of a 60 year old woman who can't be bothered to pick up the phone and sort out a salon appointment.

Senior citizen communities where your basic needs are met and a community feel is there must be encouraged. Why should my parent feel tied down by my schedule just because they are staying with me.? Similarly why cant children enjoy their youth without having to feel guilty about their parents' entertainment constantly?

Another really difficult thing is that women are expected to care for their in-laws but what about their own parents? If they are only children or have no brothers what happens?  Do people understand the huge crushing burden of this?  

So please before passing judgment on another generation step back and think. We have to rebuild societal structures to cater to the changing situations and needs of society. let people make themselves useful. There is so much a senior citizen can contribute if they stop thinking that their age entitles them to be disrespectful, rude, and a general pain and instead think about how they can enhance their own lives and that of the society around them by being useful in some way.  

My rant can go on and on because there has to be a fundamental change in our society's thought process. If we can make ourselves independent of our children in our minds, plan for our old age, and think about how we can contribute to society then many of these issues will be solved. I for one have told my child, that I expect her to do what she can out of love not out of duty, our expectations as parents are only this. We birthed her, educated her, and took care of her because we chose to do that. That is our duty and we cannot force our choices on her. 

Parenting a teenager

 A teenager! the very word bring terror to the hearts of parents everywhere in the world. The mood swings, the rebellion, the anger, and the angst, the thought of all that leaves parents shaking in their shoes. A parenting guru once commented it is a trial by fire and one which teaches you how many reservoirs of patience, love, and acceptance you hold within you.

So what can we do to make it easier for us and for the child? I think a lot of times mothers are going through menopause around the time the children are teens. If one looks at many religious and philosophical texts one realises that in most situations, your own reaction is what controls the outcome of an interaction. 

I realised that in most interactions with my teenager which went south most of the time it was my reaction that caused it. If I had been calmer and more reasonable then perhaps the interaction would be better. I must put it out here that compared to many teenagers my child is a saint. So for her to rebel and shout at me is very unlike her but there have been times when I really wanted to give her away.

 So is there any checklist one can tick off in order to have a successful relationship with your teen. I have asked many friends with teen boys and girls and based on what they have said here are a few pointers:-

1. Stay calm no matter what.

2. Make sure you parent as a unit. Make a list of deal-breakers in advance and both parents stick to it. Don't bad mouth your partner/spouse to the kids whatever happens even as a joke. Your relationship problems are not theirs. They need a safety net in a chaotic world, be that safety net.

3. Expect their peers and friends to be more important in their lives than you. It is part of the evolutionary genetic code for survival. You can best give them the values you want them to have and give them a good peer group to interact with.

4. Never ever criticize their friends. Because if you do even if they agree with you, they will want to stick to them more because it annoys you.

5. Be honest with them always but be nice. They need to know you have their back always regardless.

6. Tell them you love them a million times every day whether they say it to you or not. Teens are always insecure and they need reminding that they are loved regardless of what happens.

7. Remember to keep your prejudices locked away tight or thrown in the trash. The world is changing every day. You are outdated the minute you open your mouth.

8. Above all listen to them genuinely. Turn off your phone and listen when they come to talk. These opportunities will be few and far between. Grab it with both hands.

9. Expect the best from them, and tell them that. The lessons are being absorbed. Give them a stable family life, being happy yourself brings happiness to the family. Teach them to look for possibilities everywhere and keep an open mind.

10. Lead by example. They are watching everything you do and say and are able to pick up the subtlest of hints

Is religious teaching important to our children's development?

The Buddha says "Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."

Is'nt religion the biggest and the richest franchise? After all every one of them is selling a brand and saying my God is better than yours. Wars have been fought, cultures overturned and countless people have died just for this. Somehow even for the most educated, every sane thought flies out of the window when they perceive that their god is being attacked. With all this background of violence and turmoil happening all around the world, one might be excused for thinking that perhaps religious education is best avoided altogether.

I, on the other hand, have another a contrary point of view. Not unusual for me, because I enjoy a stimulating discussion. Religious education, I believe is key so that our children can question why because just as religion and God cannot explain everything so science cannot as well. Besides religious teaching often gives us a cultural anchoring which otherwise is not possible to give our kids. The feeling of belonging, the lesson of giving, and the opportunity to connect that the religious gatherings give our society is almost invaluable.  

I think the problem in many ways lies in society's parenting skills. Parents usually don't have a deep knowledge of their own religion and depend on teachers of religious studies, who often have only superficial knowledge themselves. Trying to understand a question, and apply what each religious tradition says to the current context is often difficult, so most people take the path of least resistance and use tradition and religious teachings as an excuse not to understand or apply the teachings in context. 

I also think people are not confident in their own beliefs and do not dare to question any tradition aloud so that no one is upset. Humanity in general, is a people pleaser and feels that sticking to tradition is the easiest way not to upset any wheelbarrows. It takes a great deal of courage to think about why we do something, put it in context, question it, and then stand by your conviction. I think society is failing our young people by not allowing them to do this. Therefore religious teaching is narrow and biased because it suits our power brokers to keep people as docile, unquestioning sheep who will follow a set line.

Finally, this brings me to the conclusion that one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the gift of an open questioning mind. A mind that will assimilate what it learns thinks about it and takes the best out of the environment. But without giving them a deep knowledge of what their religion stands for this will not be possible because one needs a base of knowledge from where we begin to question.

It comes down to respect - boundaries

I have had and heard numerous discussions on views and opinions. Each person tries to explain his or her point of view. Finally, it does come down to one thing, how much do we respect another person's efforts or accept that they are struggling wth their problems. I write today in the context of Indian family dynamics. However. this is probably true in any situation where there are large groups of people living and working together. As a society, we do not reward people who achieve their goals work efficiently and try to do their best without moaning. We take advantage of their stiff upper lip and expect more and more of them. So basically we would bring society down to the lowest common denominator. If someone moans about how hard life is they get help and sympathy. Another person in the family or team might have had a harder deal but because they do not fuss they are not supported and not respected. If ever God forbid they drop one of the numerous balls they are juggling, all of hell's fury is heaped on them. Nobody looks at past achievements or efforts only the current errors are seen. Sometimes lip service is paid to the wonderful person they are, but no support is forthcoming. So what are we teaching our children? Moan and groan and do the minimum and people will applaud and say how well you have held up in the circumstances. Work quietly without a fuss and use minimum resources and you will neither get the support or the respect you deserve. We teach our children this lesson very early and most societies give women a raw deal in this. As children, we are expected to be mature, responsible and share everything with our brothers, even if they take a Lion's share of the resources. At work, we must work smarter and harder and male colleagues still take the credit. If we do not put the team ahead of personal gain we are not team players. If men do this they are go-getters. Whether it is at home or at work selfishness wins most of the time. So what is the solution? Firstly, mothers have to learn to stand firm and be as fair as possible. Secondly, teach your girls that the team is important but you are the most important person. If you do not love yourself nobody will. If you do not respect yourself nobody will. So do not be a doormat. Listen and respect other women first and do not let anyone create problems in your team be it at work or at home. In a relationship do not sacrifice yourself completely for the other person because it is expected. Demand respect and use all the resources you need. If you are not asked do not do anything extra, because anything that is given freely is not respected. Yet if you do get something from someone, acknowledge and appreciate it. Giving credit where it is due does not make you a lesser person, but don't give away the credit due to you. Stand with your sisters whether they are blood sisters or not but walk away if you are not respected. The reason for this rant is that I have noticed giving becomes one way if boundaries are not put in place. Parents, partners, children, colleagues, friends all take advantage of people's good nature. Women who elect to stay home with the children get put down and taken advantage of. They are seen as lowly workers who have no right to expect any rewards or respect. But really they might be juggling a whole lot of things and do not get paid for it. Eldercare, child care, home care, entertaining cooking, shopping, etc is all done. Spouses drop demands on them, saying you are not at work. So what if the woman is not bringing home money. She compensates by doing a huge amount of work which if paid for will be too expensive for the family. I have heard rants about people being lazy about not going to work. Sometimes, the person may not have a choice or has made that choice due to circumstances. Having said all of the above, the point I was trying to make is that the grass is always greener on the other side. People who choose to run the home feel that they have a 24/7 job. People who work outside feel pressured because they are wage earners. What we fail to realize that it is a team and boundaries have to be set. When the giving is imbalanced the cart will overturn sometime. Respect is the key. Respect for oneself and for others. Remember do unto others what you would want them to do to you but if others do not reciprocate walk away. Most importantly try to be kind and try not to let other's people opinions of you define you.

Parent-Teacher partnership.....Is that really possible?

I read a book a while ago called "The Smartest kids in the world: And how they got that way." by Amanda Ripley. It talked about the different education systems in the world and the factors that make them successful or not. To sum up the book, the factors that give the children the system that each one of them deserve is high quality of teachers. the social importance of education and just the joy of learning. Every child is inherently a curious being and we as a society manage to kill that inner being by the time they reach grade 3. Parents today, find it difficult to accept their children's teachers as professionals and sometimes with good reasons. Part of this difficulty is because of the quality of the professionals entering the field. Like doctors, teachers and elementary school teachers in particular have a profound and lasting impact on a person's life. Should they not then be the most highly trained and highly paid of all professions? After all, a parent is entrusting their most precious possession to a person who will see them more than the parents themeselves. Teaching is a vocation which wrings out all your energy and talent and leaves you digging deep inside to find that little bit more. But rigid school managements and unrealistic parental expectations dampen a good teacher's enthusiasm and ability to give their best. However, I have also seen that teachers get unduly stressed if a parent approaches them with a suggestion , a worry or a complaint. More often than not a calm, listening ear resolves the issue. Everything is not a battle and parents do appreciate the little extra bits you put in. Part of the reason many teachers get stressed is that the parent maybe right in their worry and the teacher is not giving their best because they do not know how. The demands on a teacher have multiplied with inclusive classrooms and personalised education being the buzzwords. Teaching degrees. now should also include soft skills like how to run a parent teacher conferences, how to defuse angry parents, how to keep lines of communication open. As one really experienced teacher said to me - "As I plan my lesson, I think about how I can make every student feel successful." If teachers and parents also think about how they can make each other and the children feel successful, I think it can be a true partnership.

A letter to my daughter

Dear Ananya, First of all, I love you whatever you do, as you are and whatever you choose to be in the future. This note is only to give you a single piece of advice which nobody gave me but I learnt the hard way.Life is not fair and there will always be others who will get the glory using wrong means. However, all you really need to do is to be true to your character as they are to theirs. At the end of the day you have to look at yourself in the mirror and feel proud of what you are. This does not mean that you let people walk over you, rather it means watch your back, but don't stab others in theirs. If you help people and they do not give you credit remember you chose to help them, so don't expect any. And most of all, love yourself and love whatever you do with a passion. If you are to do a back hand spring keep trying with all your heart and soul till you achieve your goal. Sometimes though you need to let something go for a while and then chase it again with renewed energy. Loving yourself as an individual is something crucial because if you respect and love yourself, you will be happy and will be able to make others happy. Just doing things for others at the expense of yourself will only make you resentful and unhappy and finally physically stressed out and ill. Be passionate about who you are and what you do but remember not to hurt people or this world intentionally. When you apologise, mean it and try to remember not to do it again and most importantly try never never to lie to yourself or others even if it means people getting upset with you. I know I say these things everyday to you but this note is just so that you can refer to all my nags when I am not there. Lots and lots of love and hugs Mommmy

Teaching Assistants - The valuable resource that is overlooked.

Classrooms today, particularly the lower grades have hidden gems called the Teaching Assistants. Sometimes, these are teachers in training but more often than not mothers of school age children who take up a job to match their children's school hours. Talk to them, and they will tell you that they stay, because they enjoy the company of the kids, long after their own grow up. But they are not given any credit for the work they do, simply because they do not have the requisite degree. This is in spite of the fact they spend far more time with each child, and will remember what each child is doing or has done. The teacher dumps a whole lot of responsibility on them, and some are far more experienced in the classroom than the newly qualified teacher.

I am now beginning to believe that a good Teaching Assistant can help your child far more than the teacher. In fact in some classes the kids have a far warmer relationship with the TAs than with the teacher. Unfortunately, the TAs have little or no room to take any decisions or even comment, come what may. This brings the classroom to a standstill.  I have seen young teachers with hardly any experience speaking very rudely to the TA who have at least 6 plus more experience than them. This ruins the atmosphere in the class and the children are affected. The TAs are expected to shoulder responsibility, but get no share of the praise. With the concept of streaming the class teacher brushes off parent questions with a simple "I don't know" which I think is not acceptable. Our teachers did not have assistants and they had 65 children in each class, and they knew the children. Now teachers crib if there are more than 25 and claim that they cannot manage even with assistants.

The school managements have to have some kind of guidelines for division of responsibility and weightage for experience. The teaching assistants must get more credit for all the work they put it for it is they who are the unsung heroes of the classroom.

The thin blue/red/purple line. What is a challenge and what is pressure?

For NYPD the Thin Blue Line was a phrase used by officers to describe an unwritten rule - not to rat on fellow officers who may have committed a crime. In other words it was a synonym for a cover up.An officer would retreat behind a wall of silence or simply not do the needful investigation if a fellow cop was a suspect, come hell or high water. I am using the phrase to mean the line between what educators call pushing and what is a challenge.
Now there are many schools of thought here. Many educators in the last decade have advocated strictly positive reinforcements messages to get the child to do what is required. But I feel that is not enough because it is like tarring everyone with same brush. Most kids today are far smarter than their parents and teachers in many ways and know when to push the right buttons. And we all have to admit that kids are hard work whether smart or not since they keep you off balance all the time. No day will be the same as the one gone by or the one that is coming. Now here is where the teachers come in. Before I make my point I must pause to say that being a teacher or a doctor can never be just a job or a career since both professions wield an enormous amount of influence on people's lives. A good teacher can make a child rise far above his or her intrinsic ability.  My problem is that most educators view this as just a another job. I feel if we give the children the opportunity to learn they will regardless This is an effort which the teacher has to put in. They have to get involved and they have to feel and they have to intuitively assess where the child is, to offer him or her better challenges. Self motivation is not something a six year old or even a ten year old has, somebody has to do it for them. If parents and educators wait for this it may be too late.

Unfortunately, to cover up what they are lacking, there is an astonishing amount of stonewalling by the schools. They seem to want to bring everything done to the lowest common denominator and will try as much as they can to avoid or discourage questions. I can hear the collective gasp of outrage across the teaching community here and though I know some very good teachers the above is what perhaps most parents have come to experience. No supervisor or deputy head or principal will admit any wrong by the staff and yet nothing changes. What is worse they discourage the parents from expecting more from the child. Somewhere there seems to be a disconnect. Why is it so wrong to expect your child to work a little more than what is strictly required? Life is no ball game when they grow up and if they learn to give their best and expect no less effort from themselves then they will be better adults in society when they are older.

Take Amy Chua book "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother". A lot has been said about her methods but if we look at it objectively it was just a memoir of her efforts and her mistakes. But there a big lesson in that for all parents. While genius come at a price it is not wrong to expect the best from your child. If we can find a method where we praise and reprimand equally and at the right time the kids actually respect and love you more. So Amy Chua's methods were definitely pressure but getting your child to buckle down and do some extra work every day, even if it is for 1/2 hour is not. I have personally seen the joy and the sense of achievement my daughter has when I do not let her give in when she finds something hard. So mums please do not listen to the teacher alone- sometimes your instincts work better. Besides no child comes with a handbook and every child has different abilities. Celebrate that and above all do not let them give up!!

Third country children- are they truly global or just lost

Dubai is a city of contrasts, a huge salad rather than a melting pot. It is a city where each community retains its identity and its ties while living together with others. So what happens to the children born here and who grow up here. Here is my take on their life as third country children. The children in Dubai grow up rather privileged. A mother once commented that when she takes her children back home, they come across very naive compared to the children there. The exact quote was "Dehatis in branded clothes" which translates as village bumpkins in branded clothes. In some ways it is very true since the majority of the children here have things done for them. It is a wonderful place for doing a lot of stuff but teaches very little in terms of life skills. Our children grow up sometimes very unaware of life. Also there is no sense of belonging in a way. The country they were born in and brought up in considers them aliens. The country whose passport they hold treats them like that. They have no flag to salute, no national anthem to sing. While one may argue that this is a great opportunity to transcend national borders, our children can do so only if this beautiful country was more of a melting pot. Instead it is like a giant salad, where each portion is distinct and untouched by the character and quality of the others. Perhaps one can go as far as to say that Dubai is home to various ghettos. Each nationality does not really mix with the others nor adopts any of the culture. Arabic should have been second language to these kids. Instead they barely know how to read and write and not speak it at all. What a tragedy this is!!Perhaps here is where we as parents need to stop and think whether we are truly giving our children the international experience. But I also feel that unless one learns to appreciate one's own culture and traditions one finds it hard to appreciate the other. What do we need to do to give our children a sense of identity and of belonging? I have still to find the answer. If only I can help my child to be part of the melting pot and fully appreciate our own culture will I feel my child is a global citizen, completely at ease with various nationalities and able to appreciate the similarities and accept the differences.

Newspaper Club-The Juice on JPS-Learning responsibility

"New Term-new edition of the JPS newspaper. Last term saw  the first edition of "The Juice on JPS" published. The first ever newspaper club at JPS was born. The children drawn from years 4,5and 6 had a taste of the trials and the euphoria of bringing out a newspaper. This term we aim to be more realistic about it with the children being on google docs, doing the stories on time working on deadline etc. Watch this space for more on this as the newspaper team evolves." This is what I started writing about the newspaper club I started at school. Then the post got abandoned as we worked further on the project. The kids are lovely very talented and smart but I see just one problem- the lack of commitment and more importantly the fact that nobody not even the parents, enforces the value of it.

I see this as a general state of affairs among all our kids here in Dubai. They are very pampered and cossetted. Either their parents do it for them or teachers or some adult. They have no idea about the consequence of things and I feel the lesson sooner learnt, the better. This is where I agree completely with Amy Chua author of the "Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother". She has put forth the idea that the more the children are challenged the better they perform and that their self confidence grows with each battle won. Life is tougher in some ways now. Being good is not enough- one needs to be excellent to achieve anything


.
I think we all need to drop the idea of celebrating every scrawl our children do and urge them to reach for the stars in their chosen field. Demanding excellence from oneself is perhaps the best competitive edge we can give them in the life's journey.

Unfortunately our school systems now are concentrating on building average kids because they teach them it is "OK" if they have not achieved a goal. I feel that concept has gone too far and the children have now begun to accept "OK" as their objective not demand excellence from themselves. Tomorrow's leaders and achievers are those who will throw "OK" out of the window and concentrate on doing their job to better than the best of their ability.

I hope that this term the "Newspaper Club" at JPS demands and achieves  that excellence and that we are able to help this bunch of students have that wonderful experience, that of creating a truly excellent product.

Customer Service and Front Desk - The silent and most often "unrewarded forgotten" sales team of the business

Most businesses spend a huge amount of money on their sales team. They train them and incentivize them. But then, they forget a bunch of people who are customer facing and who are actually responsible for more than half the sales. The"Service Staff". It is this sales team who can actually make or break your business particularly in these days where advertising costs are high and companies are relying more and more on social media and word of mouth to get and keep the customer.

Dubai has for long been famous for bad customer service, but it got away with it since someone higher up came out quickly to soothe ruffled feathers. But they have got complacent as well thinking that where will the customers go, particularly in the medical industry here. I have had such a bad experience with Prime Medical Centre recently here in Jumeira. Their doctors are fairly good, but the front office is terribly disorganized, and overbook and double book and basically make you wait for over half an hour, even if you an appointment. Remember, they are only a clinic and handle no medical emergencies. So I see no reason why a patient who has bothered to make an appointment, is made to wait for half an hour. This has happened to me not once but four times in a row because the front office staff had either forgotten, or were overworked, or understaffed, or whatever. My point is that the business has not only lost a loyal customer "me" but, I will probably now tell all my friends and everyone else not to bother going there. So they have lost future sales which they have to invest very heavily in to get back. The problem is that the attitude is to fire the guy who did this, not fix the systems. If you cannot get the service people motivated enough if you overwork and underpay them this is what happens, and businesses will have to wake up to this stark reality sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, we fail to acknowledge in our whole lives, that the little jobs matter, in the big picture, and those who understand and appreciate that, will pip the others to the winning post.

 To finish this with a happy story, I wonder if you heard of a restaurant called "Maanvaar". It is a restaurant in Karama serving Marwari food, started by a person from Jodhpur India. "Maanvaar" means hospitality in Marwari. It started as a six-table restaurant. It was literally a hole in the wall but the food was yummy and we converted many a skeptic. But perhaps, more than the food what brought people there in droves was the hospitality and the service. Every waiter fed you with joy and every customer who left came back with a few more. Today, that restaurant has expanded to twenty tables, they do parties and catering and they have a special sweet shop which sells Marwari sweets. For a niche Indian cuisine restaurant to do so well without massive advertising and deep pockets, stands testimony to the oft-repeated mantra if you take care of your customer they will take care of you.

Where does one draw the line?

I look around me, at my own child and at children around me and think gosh! they are very lucky kids in every sense of the word- or are they? When we give them all that they need want dream or even before that are they lucky or are we crippling them mentally and emotionally. Our children do not know what it is to need which is great but they do not know "want". When I say that I mean that they get things before they know it even exists. In a way we are taking away their ability to dream about something and work towards a goal. Living a privileged life is great but if that takes away basic survival skills that is not the best life to live. I worry for my child because even if I stop buying the stuff she still gets it from the host of uncles and aunts and cousins and friends. Where does this end? How can I teach her that one need to work for a goal.

Happy new Year

As the New Year kicks off I decided to start it by attempting to keep up with one of my resolutions which keeps getting put off year after year. The resolution to start writing again and more importantly keep at it. Somehow other things have always taken precedence and this passion has been put on the back burner. I heard about a great way to keep up with your resolutions. Make It Public.So here it it people -"Musings of a School Mum" because that is essentially what takes up a bulk of my day but with my daughter growing up I hope I will have a lot more to share with all of you.

Earlier this morning I shared a comment on volunteering in the school on the site iVillage. A lot of parents who do volunteer were unhappy that they seem to be doing all the work while others just sat back. Well here is my take on this. For those who do not bother to help when you can you miss a wonderful opportunity to see a part of  your child's life  that you would otherwise not get. For those who work and complain do as much as you can possibly with joy, nobody is forcing you- it is voluntary after all. I believe that all who volunteer get something from it after all whether it it friends, information, networks or just plain satisfaction of doing something good.

Last term I went to the school principal and asked him why we did not have a school newspaper. He agreed to start one provided I helped out which I accepted. So now we have one run by head of literacy assisted by me and written and published by the students. By the time my daughter moves up the school I hope it will be an independent entity run entirely by the students and I hope she will have the chance to write in it too. The lesson I learnt was that while ideas were great implementing them properly were harder and managing limited resources were harder still. Most importantly I hope I will be able to translate the lessons learnt into reality in this term with a better advice for the newspaper team.

Next week school reopens and there will be more musings hopefully.